- Make time for your spouse. If you don't make it a priority other things will make your priorities for you. Probably my biggest regret of the last 5 years is not spending enough time with my wife.
- Make time for your kids. It's too easy to just let them play on their own.
- Do your best to interact as a family with other families. Our culture has put so much emphasis on individualism that it's too easy to stay in your own house day after day. This is not the way most cultures work, don't let it become you way of life or else the pressures of parenting and marriage will grind you down.
- The fastest way to teach a baby how to roll over is to put them on the couch.
- The fastest way to teach a baby how to crawl is to put them on the floor with something dangerous on the other side of the room.
- Managing expectations is the key to happiness. If you expect too much, you become disappointed with life; if you expect too little you become a cynic. I've been guilty of both.
- Expect to lose half your free time when you get married. It won't really feel like that much though because you can spend your time together doing the things you used to do by yourself.
- Expect to lose another 90% of what's left with your first child. Subsequent children will also take 90% of what's left. Actually, this has a lot of variability in it. Some kids are very calm and can deal with being put down for long periods of time. My first born required almost constant attention. So much so that Valerie couldn't even get time to eat without him screaming.
- The mom will forget about how bad things once were after about one and half years.
- Don't worry about number 8 too much. The kids will learn to play by themselves eventually or you'll learn to get up earlier to do the things you want or both.
- Pray a lot. Everyday at least and constantly if you can manage it.
- Feel free to swear, or swear more, after the kids are asleep. You've earned it, damnit.
- Learn to ask for things that you want. If you go through marriage silently resenting your partner for never doing something you think you need, it's your own fault. Your partner isn't a mind reader. At least, not at the beginning.
- Speaking of super powers, do fly your children around the room like superman.
- Don't treat your spouse or your kids like they're God. i.e. don't expect them to be perfect and don't worship them either.
- One of the best pieces of advice I've ever gotten was from Lauren Catlin's dad Ralph. (For those keeping track that's my best friend's wife's dad): Your relationship with your spouse on earth reflects the relationship you have with God. If that's true I expect most men have a problem communicating with God; both praying to Him and listening to His voice.
- I definitely have the problem described in 16 both with God and my wife.
- I will reserve comment on what women's common issue is in 16.
- Getting a dog right before getting pregnant was probably not a good idea.
- Moving to a foreign country with three kids, a cat, and a dog probably wasn't the smartest idea either.
Feel free to add your own thoughts in the comments.
